


Forever

by saturatedParadoxes



Series: Peeling [32]
Category: Undertale
Genre: Broken Noses, Sibling fights, Suicide, humantale, long fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-12 00:00:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7912576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saturatedParadoxes/pseuds/saturatedParadoxes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I know you're trying to kill yourself,<br/>But I'll never let you do it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forever

He'd tried it over and over, since the day Flowey told him someone would die if they took all their veins out. He originally said he was trying to see of it was true, and you had to explain.

"If you don't bleed out first," you said rather calmly "You won't be able to have any blood flow. You need your veins for blood flow."

"Oh." He sounded as if he had known. Of course he knew. It was basic logic, and he was a bad liar anyways. You looked to the knife on the bed and had an idea. You lifted it up and looked up at Papyrus, who didn't looked phased. You kept your eyes on him as you dug the knife into your palm, his face twisted from calm to horrified.

"S- Sans!" 

"Calm down, give me your hand." You paid no mind to your bleeding hand until Papyrus shakily gave you his.

You pressed the cuts together, and it stung for a few seconds. When you took your hand from his, blood dripped and you could see that Papyrus looked pale.

"Sans? Why did you do that?"

"I mean, why not? We're already brothers," you flashed a grin his way "Um, so you know how they say I'm a type-a?"

"Um..." He looked confused "I guess."

"It was a type-o. Anyways," you stopped to chuckle "Let's get cleaned up."

"I don't get it..."

"Blood joke."

It'd been a few days since then.

Papyrus was staring down at his plate, not saying a word. Your father had gone to bed already, saying something about a busy day tomorrow.

"Papyrus."

"Yes?"

"You're not getting up until you eat."

"I'm not hungry."

You sighed and nodded, then reminded him that he needed to eat. He nodded and rubbed at his arm, then you went to sit in the living room. You checked on him every few minutes, he looked bored. He'd get hungry eventually.

Then it was one in the morning.

"Papyrus, if you're not hungry by now, you're lying." You sighed and walked over to him "If you just eat the sandwich, I'll let you go to bed."

"I'm not hungry." He protested.

"Yeah. Sure, Papyrus, and I'm not tired." You rolled your eyes "Just eat the sandwich."

"No." He scrunched his face and scratched at his skin, which was red, how much had he been scratching?

You tried to collect yourself, so you wouldn't scream. You grabbed his hand that was on the table, well, more like his wrist.

"You need to eat, or you won't be healthy." You said clumsily "You need to."

"I don't want to." He sounded angrier this time "I'm tired, please."

"I am too," you said with a humorless chuckle "I don't care if you don't want, you are." Then you quickly added in "No bones about it." 

"Sans." Papyrus was unamused with your puns "I'm just not hungry, okay?"

"I don't care, eat. Now."

He squirmed and tried to take his wrist away and began to look panicked "Sans, your hand-"

"Eat." 

"Give me my hand-" his voice was so shrill, you couldn't stand it.

A few obscenities escaped you before you began to make actual sense "I don't want you to die before me, so-" your throat felt tight as you spewed more nonsense "Please just eat."

His breathing was hectic and you could tell he wasn't getting any air in his lungs. His eyes were glossy and were glowing a vibrant orange, before you knew what he was doing, his fist slammed into your face and you were stumbling backwards, about to hit the floor.

"Don't you touch me-" he screamed angrily before his face twisted back into panic "Oh god, oh god, I'm so sorry, Sans!"

The impact of your hand hitting the scratchy rug had reopened the cut on your hand and twisted your wrist. You lifted your hand to examine it and some odd sense of satisfaction urged you into laughing.

"Sans...?" 

"Oh- oh my god, Papyrus," you cackled and let yourself lay back "Good aim, bro." 

"Sans, your nose!"

It hurt, and you had already figured out that it was broken. Broken noses seemed common for you, strangely enough.

"Okay, okay, let's go to miss Toriel's, hopefully-" another burst of laughter interrupted you "Pa-Papyrus, I'm dying!"

"What!?"

"Okay-" you giggled "Let's go."

"Oh, um, miss Toriel's, right?" He walked over and helped you up.

"Yeah." You looked to the clock, one twenty. She should be awake, right? "Lemme see if she's up first-"

YOU: u up?  
Toriel: Yes. Are you alright?  
YOU: i kinda broke my nose lmfao can u help me  
Toriel: Oh goodness! Of course, where do you live?  
YOU: ill come to u dont worry   
YOU: im bringing papyrus, could u like  
YOU: make him eat?

You put it up before she could say anything else and tugged at Papyrus' shirt, the silent gesture was enough.

Halfway to her house, he curled his fingers between yours and you felt your sins weigh you down and you said silently, almost too quiet for him to hear.

"I'm sorry."

You didn't look at him, but his hand loosened.

"It's alright."

Every inch of you hurt and you felt like puking. You felt your eyes filling and leaking and you hated every second of it. You kept repeating it, though you doubted it could fix anything.

Papyrus didn't speak. He didn't move, he just clutched your hand. His breaths were slow and rhythmic and oddly soothing. Words slipped out of your lips and you immediately wished you hadn't spoke.

"No," his words were weak "Please don't say things like that, they aren't true."

You dug a hand into your jacket pocket and focused on the cold air and how it made your nose feel numb.

"Sans, please say something."

It almost hurt how numb it was.

Then he said demandingly; 

"Samantha?" 

Panic rushed and you snatched yourself from him and everything hurt worse and you could hardly control what you were saying, everything flowed so seamlessly, but you hadn't wanted to say it in the first place.

"You're not gonna start reminding me of what I hate about myself," is where you caught yourself and stopped. You were facing him now, and your fingers were clutched around the turtleneck of his red sweater. You covered your blue eye and backed away from him.

If you hadn't caught yourself, then what would have happened? 

You flicked your hand 

"Let's go." You mumbled weakly, then turned to continue walking.

It was mostly quiet, until you were about fifteen minutes away from Toriel's house.

"Sans?"

"What?"

"I'm really sorry." 

You turned and shot him a death glare "Good."

"Oh, um,"

"I'm still mad, though."

"I really am sorry, Sans, I just-"

"You just what?" You cocked a brow "Whatever it is, it's not an excuse."

He fidgeted nervously and looked away "You never say anything when Dad does it."

"Because he's our father. I can't. You, though, should know better."

"I'm sorry."

"Doesn't fix it." You stopped "Okay, say I call you an idiot, wouldn't that hurt?" He gave a nod "If I said sorry, would it still hurt?" He reluctantly nodded "See. No matter how much you say it, it still hurts."

He looked down and scratched at his skin.

"What the heck were you trying to accomplish by doing that, anyways? It's not like it catches attention more than my actual name."

"I... I don't know." 

"Bull crap." 

"I don't know, okay??" He covered his eyes and rocked himself "I don't know, I don't know, I don't know,"

"So you did one of the crummiest things," rage spilled into your voice and a chuckle escaped you "For absolutely no reason?"

"I guess so!" He threw his arms up and he was breathing shakily "No reason that I can recall!"

"Then you're worse than I am!" You screamed and snatched his wrist "What the hell, Papyrus?! What kind of- of-" you tripped over sobs as you noticed the hurt on his face "Oh god, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it-"

He snatched his wrist away rubbed at it, his face dissolved from hurt to rage.

"You're- you're-" he balled his hand into a fist and began repeating 'Nyeh heh heh' to himself silently.

"I swear, I didn't mean it, please,"

"Go on to her house, I'm leaving." He then quickly added in, anger evident in his voice "Samantha."

Hurt and anger melded into some horrible emotion that you had no idea what to call, but it made you scream.

"FINE," you pointed away from yourself and felt your body growing hot "Get away from me. Now." You said through gritted teeth to try to avoid any further yelling

"Gladly," he muttered before running off in the opposite direction.

The walk to Toriel's was quiet.

Toriel invited you in and asked where Papyrus was, but you just shrugged. She looked confused but decided to focus on your injuries.

"Goodness," she said in awe "It must have hurt a lot."

"Been worse." The words muddled together in a way that made her furrow her brow.

"Sans," she said gently "Papyrus is at home, right?"

"No clue."

"What?" She sounded shocked "How could you not know?"

"He ran off." You looked down "And honestly, I don't care if he's at home, as long as I don't have to put up with him. Could be dead for all I care."

"Sans! What a terrible thing to say!" She stood "You do not feel that way, do you?"

"Miss Toriel, you have no idea what he did tonight."

"Could it possibly have been that bad?"

"He deadnamed me twice, basically told me I was garbage, thought he could make excuses,"

"Sans." Toriel intercepted "I'm sure he didn't mean to. Papyrus is a sweet boy, I'm sure he'd never intentionally hurt you."

"Okay, he said he had no clue as to why he did it the first time, but the second time he did it to hurt me." You wrapped your arms around yourself "He's not just this pure kid, he can be mean."

"Everyone can be mean, my child," she had a sad frown "Now wait here, I'm going to get some ice."

You nodded and thought the events over again.

He knew that it would hurt you.

He did it on purpose.

He wanted to hurt you.

Your phone buzzed. You opened it and it was an incoming call from Undyne.

"Hey."

"Sans," She practically screamed into the phone "Do you know where Papyrus is!?"

"No. Why?"

"He texted me and said he was gonna off himself!" It was evident that she was crying "Sans, how the hell do you not know? What are you doing??"

"I..." You thought for a second, then familiar sins crawled down your back "Oh god. Okay, um,"

"Sans, dang it, freaking-" she began violently crying into the phone.

"Hey, it's alright I know where to look for him, calm down,"

"I'll meet up with you to look," she said quietly "Where are you?"

"Miss Toriel's."

"Okay, okay-"

"I'll meet you at Asgore's. Alright?"

"Okay."

"See you there, bye."

A squeak, then silence.

You quietly slipped down the stairs and told Toriel you had to go, so she gave you a small zippy-bag of ice (which you shoved into your pocket as soon as you left).

Asgore was fifteen minutes from Toriel, when you arrived Undyne was outside. Her red hair was in a messy bun and her face was something you couldn't pinpoint.

"C'mon." Was all that left your mouth.

She was uncharacteristically quiet. 

You went to the bridge. It was far enough above the ground that a fall would have a high chance of being fatal, and if you survived you'd probably have bad internal injuries.

Papyrus was on the edge, peering over.

"Oh my god-"

"Papyrus!" Undyne shrieked before running towards him "Dude, get down!"

His body tensed, but he didn't move.

"Papyrus?" 

He was shaking.

"Pap- Pap, please don't jump," you reached out for his hand "I'm so sorry, Papyrus."

"Whatever's going on, we can help you," Undyne said rather sadly "But we can't help if you're dead."

"You're not a burden or unlovable, you, you," 

You didn't know what to do.

He took his arm from Undyne and let himself fall. Skin parted like petals and blood washed over rocks and dirt and into the earth. 

Undyne collapsed onto the bridge and wailed.

"Oh my god- oh my god-"

"No," 

"Papyrus, Papyrus-"

"No."

The two of you sat and tried to process everything, then you called 911, then your father. Undyne was shakily trying to text someone. You looked to your veins and thought about the night you had become blood brothers.

She looked back over the edge.

"I don't understand," her deep blue eyes locked onto the still-bleeding corpse "I... He always acted so happy and confident."

All you could do was nod.

"Sans? Why would he do this?"

You stared at her then sighed.

"It's my fault." You looked away "I yelled at him and called him a bad person."

She didn't say a word.

"I never helped him." You mumbled to yourself "This is my fault."

When the emergency services arrived, your father was soon after.

He let you nap in the back seat. You dreamed about wilting orange roses.


End file.
